Chat Rules

The following set of rules were ratified by the HLP BOR on March 30, 2019, with the latest updates on December 27, 2019. These rules outline behavior within both of our Telegram chat groups as well as set the overall tone of HLP mission.

General Telegram Chat Rules

  1. No shaming or threatening members is tolerated

  2. Discrimination on any grounds is not tolerated

  3. The HLP chat strives for inclusivity, but as a private social club we have the right to ban people who cause trouble in the group or are known to have toxic personalities.

  4. Always be courteous to one another, remember that all of us lost pups have personal issues and demons. Remember that the emotions you are suffering from today might be the same emotions someone else is suffering from tomorrow. Don't lash out at people who are simply trying to make friends and participate in the conversation.

  5. Do not hold personal arguments in our chats. Take them into private messaging.

  6. Avoid political issues in the chat
    1. Discussing such issues often leads to confrontation to misunderstanding

    2. Political discussion can go off the rails easily

    3. Rules Amendment
      1. Dated June 4, 2020

      2. The COVID-19 pandemic has created much unrest in the world and in the USA, much of which is centered around political topics. BLM, LGBT issues, protests, and general civil unrest due to the issues caused by the pandemic are all politically charged, and as such, have inadvertently created a limitation of what can be talked about in the public chat. Therefore, a temporary moratorium on this rule, Rule 6, has been implemented.

      3. Members are hereby granted permission to have conversations on topics that include politics.

      4. Any politics related conversations must remain civil.

      5. Avoid using phrases like "you're wrong" when defending your point of view, instead use phrases like "I feel."
      6. DO NOT STATE ANY "FACTS" UNLESS YOU ALSO PROVIDE A LINK TO YOUR SOURCE FOR THOSE FACTS. Links to any news source that is labeled "opinion" is not a "fact." Please check your sources as defending an easily identifiable falsehood as a fact will not be tolerated.

      7. You are permitted to publicly vent a strong opinion for/against an event/situation/politician but at the same time you should be prepared for others to counter your strong opinion with theirs. In these situations, please be prepared to defend your strong opinion in a calm manner without slander, degradation of character, or defamation of character. If you are not prepared for this type of defense, then you may want to reconsider posting your strong opinion.
      8. Do not post anything politically charged, with the sole intent to start an argument in which you would then not participate, just because this temporary amendment gives you the power to do so.

      9. This Rules Amendment is enacted to help everyone talk about and deal with the current stresses of the world with the hope that it will help the group grow stronger and not tare it apart.
      10. This Rule 6 Amendment will remain in effect until it is announced, with 24 hours notice, that it is being repealed.

  7. Disagreements often happen within a large group of people. As long as you abide by these rules, HLP invites informed and civil two-sided discussions on all topics that are not excluded by these rules.
    1. When you have a disagreement with another member you must keep the conversation civil and informed.

    2. If the conversation starts to lean towards bullying or turns into a heated argument, all participants will be asked to discontinue or take it into a private conversation. In this scenario, all conversation participants, regardless who started it or who said what, will be reminded of these rules and told to stop.

    3. Arguments in either of our HLP chats will not gain you any favor, regardless of your right/wrong position. Our chats are intended for fun and member communication, they are not mediums for your soapbox.

    4. Keep in mind that many arguments stem from one person being more educated on a topic than another. This education may have been gained from age or experience while the other person might never have thought deeply about the topic before.

    5. If you feel you are on the right side of history, please take a moment to put yourself in the other person's shoes and consider their age and experience before yelling at them that they are wrong.

    6. It is expected that each side of a two-sided discussion will try to educate and inform the other party of their position without resorting to name calling or shaming of any kind. Two-sided discussions mean that two (or more) people are participating in a topic.

    7. Do not use the chat as a medium to gossip about or slander another person in our community who is not a participant of the HLP chat. HLP will never ban or block someone from our chat with the express intent to allow a public slanderous conversation about that person. It is HLP's goal to prevent mob mentalities and angry non-defendable attacks against single people.

    8. If you feel very strongly about the subject matter of a heated discussion, then HLP invites you to submit a request to present your topic at one of our educational seminars so you can appropriately present your topic as a subject matter expert.

    9. As an organization, HLP understands that everyone has their own point of view and experience, including those designated as our chat group admins. The words and actions of any chat group admin do not represent the official standing of HLP unless specifically stated as such.

    10. Disciplinary action will be taken against everyone participating in heated arguments that monopolize and take the fun out of our chats.

  8. If you have a problem with a conversation taking place in a private chat or in one of our HLP chats then please contact an admin through private message. Do not use the HLP chat to call for admin attention because that usually leads to further unnecessary attention and escalation of a problem that might have passed through the chat without incident, remember that the chat is supposed to be for fun.
    1. Any complaint against another chat participant must be accompanied with proof, e.g. screenshots, photos, or videos.

    2. Complaints against another chat participant without proof cannot be acted upon and can only be recorded as your complaint against another chat member.

    3. If your complaint against someone is because they committed a criminal act against you, i.e. they broke a law, then we request that you submit a reference to your filed police report or proof of such criminal action.

    4. HLP recognizes that some people simply do not get along, and we respect that two people will never chat with each other or be near them at one of our events, however, personal dislikes are not grounds for an official HLP action.

    5. Accusations of criminal actions always lead to extremely emotional arguments with all parties involved, but HLP must consider all accusations as "alleged accusations" unless proof is submitted.

    6. HLP will do its best to understand the disagreement you are having with another member, but we are not a legal jury and have no authority to dictate punishment other than banning people from our chat groups and private events.

  9. If you have a problem with someone at an in-person HLP event, please speak to a Board Member or other designated person of authority while at that event.
    1. HLP would prefer to take action immediately at an in-person event to resolve any issues while all parties and appropriate evidence is readily available.

    2. Any problem brought to a person of authority while at an event will be given immediate attention in the hopes of an immediate resolution.

    3. Any problem brought to the attention of HLP officials after an event is over will require the burden of proof on your part.

    4. HLP officials cannot appropriately take disciplinary action without proof. Sadly, HLP cannot act on hearsay or gossip other than to record your complaint against another event participant.

    5. These rules for in-person events are included here until such time as HLP creates a specific set of rules for in-person events. Until such time these chat rules also serve as our overall membership rules.

  10. No Gossip Policy: Do not spread rumors, secrets or private information about other members in either HLP chat. If you feel the need to gossip, then do it in-person or in PM rather than an official HLP group.

  11. Advertising Policy: HLP chats are for fun and communication within the fetish community, solicitation of money is frowned upon.
    1. Other fetish clubs are allowed to post messages of their upcoming events ONLY after getting approval from one of the BOR members. Once approval if given to a fetish club they do not have to ask for permission to post each time. HLP recognizes that social events have costs, therefore the ticket/cover/admission fees for these events are permitted to be mentioned.

    2. HLP is aloud to post solicitation messages of items or services for sale that will benefit its members, sometimes these will be direct items for sale from HLP and sometimes these solicitations will be worth while sales that the BOR finds online.

    3. On occasion, HLP will grant permission to partners to post messages. HLP partners are those companies that grant purchase discounts to HLP members or have donated to HLP fundraisers.

    4. If you own a business and would like to advertise to the growing HLP membership, you are permitted to do so by way of a donation directly to HLP of your products or services. In return HLP will advertise your name as a sponsor.

    5. Do not offer free samples to HLP members as a way to lure future purchases. That type of marketing tactic is transparent and greatly disliked.

    6. Be advised that, if you own a business or are a promoter of a business, and you are considering posting anything that includes a dollar value, that post will probably be deleted and you will be put on notice by HLP.

    7. You are permitted to talk about your business as part of a general conversation, e.g. “I make websites, so if you need a website I’m your guy.” But you are not allowed to say “I’m offering a $1000 discount to all HLP members who need a website.”

    8. Do not advertise your other chat groups or use the HLP chats as your personal farm from which to pick people for your new chat group. Other fetish groups are allowed to advertise their chat ONLY with permission from a BOR member. On occasion other chats will be spun off to help coordinate upcoming events, but don’t randomly share a link to your other personal chats.

    9. Participation before solicitation. If you don’t routinely participate in the chat you will not be given permission to mention any ad, event, or other group. HLP will not allow our members to be used as a target group if you are not part of the active membership family.

HLP (SFW) Main Chat Rules

  1. The "HLP Main" chat is for registered HLP members. To get into it you need to register on this website and be vetted by our Membership Committee.

  2. Even though it's a private chat, we maintain a mostly safe for work conversation.

  3. You are allowed to post photos of yourself in gear as long as you cover all the body parts that could offend the public.

  4. Photos of you or your friends must be more than street legal so as to be above reproach. That means you must have fully covered bottoms and fully covered tops (for those with breasts). No ass cracks, no genitals, no photos showing off the size of your genitals through your clothes, i.e. no underwear photos.

  5. No porn pics or videos

  6. No intercourse pics or videos

  7. Stickers with adult content cartoons are NOT allowed

  8. Stickers containing real-life photos of adult content (sex, ass, dick, boobs, vagina, testicles) are NOT allowed

NJ-HLP Cardholder Chat Rules

  1. This is a members-only private chat.

  2. You can only gain access to this group only if you are an NJ-HLP Cardholder Member, as in, you have paid for your membership card.

  3. Cardholders must log into their account on this website to access the private link to this private chat group.

  4. This private chat group is not accessible to the public and therefore is allowed to be not safe for work (NSFW)

  5. We are still imposing some guidelines because we don't want to be accused of distributing porn.

  6. You are allowed to post photos of yourself in gear.

  7. If you post photos of others in gear, you should have their permission first. If we discover that you did not get permission before posting photos of others we will remove those photos and give you a warning. Repeat offenders will be removed.

  8. Show us what you've got! (dick, boobs, vagina)

  9. This chat can be used to share photos from our parties and events.

  10. No intercourse pics or videos unless all people in said pics and videos have agreed to the sharing.

  11. Stickers with adult content cartoon are invited.

  12. Stickers containing real-life photos of adult content (sex, ass, dick, boobs, vagina, testicles) are also invited.

  13. Your participation in this chat means you are agreeing to these rules and you will not get offended or get yourself into trouble by viewing the chat group.

Proper Chat Etiquette

  1. It’s a social chat. Please do not use it for solicitation of any private activity, including any invitations for adult play.

  2. Only public events are allowed to be advertised once you ask one of the admins for permission to do so. You can’t put a general invitation in there for people to go to your house for any play scene.

  3. We want the group to be a safe place where everyone can talk without worry that someone is going to hit on them. Therefore, keep those requests private from the group chat and respect someone immediately if they decline your advances.

  4. The chat is also a safe space, so no attacking other members. No name calling. No bickering. No shaming. Any action like that will get the attention of one of the 7 admins and you will get a swift warning. We only give 1 warning before suspending people from the chat.

  5. Do not be self centered. If you feel like you are being ignored then it might be time to review what you are saying in the chat. Perhaps your attempts at conversation are too self centered or are inappropriate for the conversation at hand. We want all of our members to become friendly, but sometimes a few friends might be having an enjoyable conversation while ignoring others who attempt to chime in. Don't take it personally; it happens to all of us from time to time. Here's an example of self centered and inappropriate behavior: Let's say someone posts that their mom is about to die and is asking for prayers. Instead of offering your sympathy, you immediately retell the story of how bad it was when your own mother passed away. While it might be appropriate to commiserate your story sometime in the *future*, it's inappropriate to do it while the other member is currently living through their personal pain.

  6. Don’t spam the group with GIFs, multiple photos, or more than 2 stickers at a time. This includes sending the same photo several times over the course of 1 day or repeatedly sharing of the same group of photos every few days. We take notice of that behavior and we delete the excessive posts without warning. One of the admins will PM you with a stop order and notice that you are participating in improper etiquette.

  7. No drunk texting

Disciplinary Actions

  1. Any member that breaks one of the above rules might have a "soft strike" placed on their membership record. Repeat offenders may be deemed as trouble or toxic for the health of the group and will be removed. NJ-HLP is a social club organized for the benefit of its members, and therefore it's not healthy for the club to continue to allow toxic behavior.

  2. Admins have authority to issue a soft strike against members and suspend chat privileges on a case by case basis.

  3. Soft strikes are issued after the admins have a chance to review the situation and the degree to which the offender broke one of the stated rules.

  4. The HLP admins will take action against offenders as swiftly as possible and will deal with the situation in private while announcing to the public that action is being taken.

  5. NJ-HLP will record all complaints against its members. The above rules stipulate if and when disciplinary action can be taken.

  6. The only disciplinary action NJ-HLP is empowered to take is to ban people from our chats and from attending private events. We cannot ban someone from being at a public venue where our private events are taking place, we can only ban them from entering our designated event area, e.g. floor, room, or roped off area.